screwed all over again
by c11k12
Summary: what will happen next for el and liv
1. Chapter 1

Olivia's POV

I am lucky they only suspended me for helping Simone thank god but two weeks is going to kill me. I think I need to transfure I can't be with Elliot anymore I is just to hard after he told me about Kathy being pregnant I thought I was going to pass out I had to keep the tears from falling thank god I didn't need to stay because I would never have made it as soon as I got home I burst and now I can't stop. I have never felt like this in my entire life. The heartache, betrayal I mean he wasn't even mine to feel this way about but I did and I couldn't stop myself these past eight years I had been loving him silently. He loves his wife, his family but somehow I wish he loved me instead. It hurts so much I think my heart is going to combust in my chest. I have been crying for the past four days only stopping when I cry my self to sleep or gag from the sickening feeling of knowing he doesn't love me. Please god I am begging you make this pain stop I know if he believes you must be real because I need you to stop my heart from hurting. Please!

Elliot's POV

Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time loving both equally with all your heart to the point were it causes excruciating pain. Kathy she is my first love, my wife, the mother of my four beautiful children soon to be five. In a moment everything changed nine years ago on that fateful September day when she breezed into my life knocking the wind out of me. She was perfection. Dark brown hair, olive skin, perfect body, it was like a lighting bolt shooting threw my body when we shook hands and I knew she felt it too I saw it in her eyes. Those eyes, something in her eyes showed me deep into her soul. It was then that I questioned if I knew what being _in love_ was. I knew I loved Kathy but was I in love with her? Then she left me tired of being pushed away and me being angry all the time and it was then that I felt like a failure to my wife, my children, my faith, and to Olivia the other women who had stolen my heart so many years ago. I remembered her telling me once Kathy and I were what let her believe that she to would find someone one day. I had failed her and everyone else and so I pushed my best friend and the one who held my heart away to save her the same pain I had caused Kathy. Then the Gitano case happened and things got worse so she left and I felt empty. After telling her she and the job were all I had left she just walked away because as she put it "to complicated". I was furious that she didn't have the balls to tell me that she would just leave. This wasn't the Olivia I knew this wasn't my liv. But we pushed past it and just started to get on track when she up and left again, this time for the feds. I can not begin to explain the pain that shot threw my chest when her phone came up as being disconnected. She did it again but this time when she came back I would not be so forgiving. Or so I thought but I had changed almost as much as she had those weeks she was gone Danni Beck had done that to me. Made me feel like I could start over, that I didn't need to be handled that I was the one to handle her and for the first time I saw what Olivia had to deal with every day when it came to me and for a second I thought I knew, knew why she left she loved me too and not in the best friend sense but the _in love _way. I panicked didn't want to feel all of it at once so I kissed Danni to avoid the truth to detach myself but nothing worked I loved her more each day. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder. Now I had to decide do I take responsibility and go back to my wife or allow my self to go with the feeling in my heart and be with Olivia. God please give me a sign I am so in love with liv I can barley breath but I can't just leave my wife pregnant and alone especially after she asked me to come home. What do I do god what have I done?


	2. Chapter 2

Hey I need a beta reader so if anyone could help me out that would be great let me know. Thanks for the support!

Kathy's POV

I love him I really do just not the way a wife should. I want him to come home to be with his family again but I don't want to be with him after twenty years together we grew apart. I fell out of love long before he did I think even before Olivia ever came into the picture in fact I am not sure I ever was _in love_ with him. What's sad is that I think we both always knew.

Elliot and I we were comfortable together. We had something that many people didn't but over the years we just lost that connection. Did we really think we would be the same as we were in high school?

I love our children and would not change a thing but as we grew up we changed, he changed and instead of talking to me he turned to Olivia.

I always admired her she was the person that people strived to be. Strong, smart, beautiful, hell when I met with her about the divorce papers I wanted to tell her that. I wanted to tell her to take care of him and give him the love he deserved. I know my talking to her makes her uncomfortable but I looked to her for the support that I knew she would always give.

That night we spent together I thought it was going to be goodbye he was hurting I could see it but instead of telling him to go talk to Olivia I asked him to stay in a moment of weakness. I never thought I would do this again and to be honest I really don't want to but I could never terminate this pregnancy and Elliot deserved to know.

So I asked him to come home and be with his family and some how even though he is my husband I felt like I was stealing him from Olivia. Like he wasn't mine to take I think I might tell him not to come home.

We can do this together without being together right?


End file.
